Stay strong

I feel like this post may turn out to be sadder than intended, and perhaps contain some trigger warmings, even though I have tried to avoid it as much as possible. So I'm telling you know, if you feel like you may be triggered by this, then please don't read, I don't want to be responsible for anything! (But you could skip down to the bold parts, because I think everyone should understand what I say there)

I've been thinking a lot recently about this one friend I have (I'll call her Nicole if I ever mention her again to protect her privacy) and I've been thinking of everything she goes through in her life, which is a lot, and every time I do this I am filled with this horrible devastating feeling of losing her. I'm terrified of the thought of not having her in my life forever, but things are really bad with her, and they have been for a long time.
I remember one time a few months ago she messaged me telling me that she was finally going to kill herself, and you have no idea how terrified I was. I was so scared, I was shaking and crying like hell. She also lived in a different country to me so I couldn't call the emergency line, all I could do was message her trying to convince her to call the hospital. Luckily, she sorted everything out and I still have her in my life right now, but I can't get rid of the fear I felt that night.
No matter how hard I try, I still remember how hopeless I felt, and how useless. I was so pissed off with myself because I couldn't do anything, and I hadn't been there for her when she needed it. I'm so glad she's alive because I think I need her in my life. So maybe this is completely selfish, but who cares? I need her, other people need her, and she has to stay alive.

But the point of this post is more to do with how society ruins us and makes us feel that way. It makes us feel horrible when we deserve a million times better. All of us. 
I could spend ages on this topic but I won't. I'll try and summarise it in a few sentences:
It's okay to be whoever you want to be. It's okay to love whoever you want, to be whatever you want, to like whatever you want, to look however you want to look, and to do whatever you want to do (except from like.... killing people, that's not cool)
It's okay to be unsure of what you want in life, everyone is at some point in life. It's okay to try and figure out what you want, and it's okay to say no to some people to think about yourself.
It's okay to look the way you do, tall, short, chubby, skinny, brown, black, white, big hands, small hands, glasses, tattoos, piercings, no tattoos, no piercings, brown hair, ginger hair, blue hair, purple hair, blonde hair, black hair, long hair, short hair, spots, no spots, whatever you look like, it's okay; in fact, it's more than okay. It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect.

In short. Be who you are, and never ever give up on who you are. Stay alive, and stay strong, because there is always someone or something that needs you here. For example, my friend Nicole thought that she had no one to stay for, and that no one would miss her, but I would have done. I would've more than missed her, I think a part of me may have died with her.

One more thing: Try and respect that other people are also just trying to be who they are. They may like different things, different movies and different bands, but that doesn't make them worse than you, just different. And different can be good. So respect them, unless they're physically or emotionally harming you, then learn to love and respect them for who they are, because then they'll do the same for you.

Also, watch this video. I watched it and cried because it honestly helped me realise everything that I've mentioned in this post.

Stay beautiful

Lots of love